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..... Rhianna........
Not from theonion? Then again, dailymail is almost at that level of news anyway...

My car won't start at all unless everything else is off, especially the air conditioner.

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

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I thought being a knight would involve being like a guard in zelda, lots of standing around doing tothing

Too ***** bad.

What does WHIP stand for? Wickets hit divided by innings pitched?

Only the house, she has to helicopter in.

you're in desperate need of free spell checks.

Sauce plz?